Worst Songs In The World – A Suggestion

After All Songs Considered's podcast on their worst songs in the world, we've jumped that wagon, if not the shark.

IMMEDIATELY! Yes, in all caps, came to our creeping collective consciousness not ONE but TWO gag-inducing, ear-steaming, cuts of excrement.

If you want Trey & Co. out the building asap, you can either say the word 'asap', or play even the first few bars – in any version – of these tunes. Even thinking about them makes his stomach curdle.* But these sacrifices we make to bring you best blog.


The notion that adult human males (with ideal bods) falling from the skies and not making a mess of your windshield, or hitting a cute Hollywood child with a lisp and killing them to death, is not one greeted with celebration. Urgh! [shudder – Ed.]. The forced fun of it, the unnecessary bravura, the cloudburst of 'Let's go girls!' correctness that we all must agree with or be seen as churlish churls.** And it's ubiquity.

Thank Steve that there are wearable devices with headphones and some Pantera to block it out, wherever you is trapped.

IRM is a misdemeanour, compared to this crime against music – far above any that even Madonna might conjure up.


Now, Gloria herself isn't the one who oughtta be in the clink for this with a life sentence of hard labour, painting white things black and black things white then starting over again. It's the mindless drekk who chuck it in to any possible gap where any gettin'-over-it song might even be possibly required. Yes, don't mind a bit of camp (Sparks roque§, and Freddie's a golden god) – and we like an uplifting song^ , and we might even be purveyors of such here at Power's Towers (vis Clutch Hitter's Song), but Why Oh Why (shameless plug #2) does everything look like a nail that necessitates this particular hammer?

Okay, maybe Gloria (or the penners, Freddie Perren and Dino Fekaris) should get some litigation directed her way for causing mental stress. After all, the lyric and vocal delivery reek of a neurotic self-regard that appears to have infected a great deal of the population+ . After all, all's you did was get out of a bad relationship – is not like you were imprisoned on Robbin Island for the better part of your life, or somehting like that. Jeez. And at least IRM is in the third person.

And. The. Damn. Thing. Never. Seems. To. End.

And, one day, we will have a bilious look at the worst songs to cover in the world.

Sidebar – as both are gay anthems, we appeal to that part of the community to let us know which LGBT person has no love for these tunes. Please. We know you exist.
 
* Or so he says.

** And really, we don't churl at all.

§

^ Especially if it includes a little vengeance. 

+ Especially if it includes a little vengeance.

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